Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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