I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
