im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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