I love black thongs
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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