i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
