whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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