I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I had to cum in my sink.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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