Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
