so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
