Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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