Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize