too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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