i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
