I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
