What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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