i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
