at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
