good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
