brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
