We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
