laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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