dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize