she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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