worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
