$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize