I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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