Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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