can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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