my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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