I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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