I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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