Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
