Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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