is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
