the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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