you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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