I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the condom got lost in my hair
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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