I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
