God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
