Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
