cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
