Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
All I want is dick and wine.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
