Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
