very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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