Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
