dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Randomize
