i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
