The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize