Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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