ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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