So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
