looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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