I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
