You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
