I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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