Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
This toilet bowl is my home.
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